my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
