TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
