do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
