So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
