Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
