.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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