spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
