Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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