Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
