the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Randomize
