can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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