You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
