get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
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