Fuck appropriateness.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
