living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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