My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
