Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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