I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
