My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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