Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
