You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
