He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
her vagine was all disorganized.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
