so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
