i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
