Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
