He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
