Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
