one word: firstdatebathroomanal
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize
