Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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