Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Randomize
