I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
