my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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