the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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