If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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