There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I want a musical about memes.
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