I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
