I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
