is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
