i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
