Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
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