We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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