i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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