??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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