I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
