your parents love me but you hate me
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
