this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
