i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
vagina is talking i cant
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
