Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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