what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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