I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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