Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
