I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
