My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
